


reckless

by justK



Series: random nct works [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 2019, ???? - Freeform, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Canon Compliant, Dom Mark Lee (NCT), I mean, M/M, Mark Centric, Not Betaed, Sub Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Weird relationship, a different city, and a different year, and that's why haechan rooms with junguwu and not ten, and there's mark/baekhyun, but i'm not entirely sure i'll upload them, but it's not really smtown osaka, but not in osaka, but very light, has an explanation, i don't really need to explain what he feels, i guess, i have some written chapters, i kinda based this on smtown osaka, i originally had planned a chaptered fic, if i make up my mind, if not, if this is too outta context i apologise, in Japan yes, it's kinda smut?, it's smtown, just know that it's the excuse for mark acting this way, so they're older, that you'll get to hear, the whole baekhyun thing, there's baekhyun/chanyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:08:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28153629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justK/pseuds/justK
Summary: what am i feeling?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: random nct works [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007520
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	reckless

**Author's Note:**

> not a native english speaker, i apologise for any mistake i might have :)

Mark walked the long corridors of the hotel, turning his head every so often to look at the numbers on the room doors, unfamiliar with the floor he was on. _room 436,_ that was the one he was looking for.

he hummed as he put one foot in front of the other, wrapped in the comfortable atmosphere that everyone had fallen into post-concert, his body still moving in time to some tune he had heard that night, or perhaps one that was, in fact, non-existent, tapping subtly against his ears, bouncing off the walls of his mind, but Mark had consumed the exact amount of beer and just a little sake to still let the remaining adrenaline flow, while giving his body a chance to relax enough to return to its natural state and begin to feel his limbs maybe a little heavy, but without suddenly feeling the fatigue that you knew accumulated on hectic days like these, alcohol gave the perfect harmony, an intermission, almost like limbo, to feel just a little euphoric and at the same time calm, preventing the real tiredness and soreness that the muscles should feel from taking effect until the next morning, so, at that moment he really couldn't tell if the melody in his head was real or a figment of his imagination.

he heard heavy footsteps behind him, a sound similar to that made by the soles of feet after running fast and braking, and perhaps he imagined it, as he could almost assure, he imagined the song in his head, or he very well could, having found himself hampered by alcohol, take more than three seconds to turn his head around, long enough for whoever passed by to have moved away, because when Mark turned his head there was no one.

his eyes were not focused, of course, this he did not know, but if some soul had been there, it could have appreciated that Mark was not exactly in his five senses. looking back to the front, his eyes darted almost frantically from door to door; laughs to his right, exclamations to the left, a knock later, and as he passed through one of those doors a laugh, _Kai hyung_ , he could recognise.

_436._

_ah_. he had already arrived.

without thinking, a smile adorned his lips, very slowly parting to make way for his teeth, creating an almost perfect smile.

“ _Baekhyun hyung,_ ” he murmured, he didn't know if unconsciously or with the intention of calling him, however, the name came out awkwardly from his lips, too high to be a thought and too low to be a call.

he pulled the card out of his back pocket, the jeans from the end of the concert still wrapped around his legs, just as the SMTown shirt hugged his torso. he pulled it out and examined it, because he had sat on it when he and Wendy waited in the reception chairs for the food to arrive, and he wanted to make sure it was still intact. with a hum of satisfaction, he nodded once, to himself more than anything, because there was no one else with him who could see him. he then went on to run the card sensor through the door handle, too careful for a tired body at almost two in the morning that had had about three beers and two shots of sake. the door barely made any noise, and if Johnny had been with him, he was sure that the older man would have complained why he couldn't open the door in the same way in the bedroom or in hotels when they came to share a room, regularly, and being sober, he was too clumsy and his hands did not cooperate so that the handle did not make noise. but this time it was different, as many things were lately.

he pushed the heavy wood and found himself in a dark room, not quite, a light could be distinguished in the background, but coming from a corridor lit with elegant spotlights placed every two steps, of course he remained blinded for a few moments, until his his gaze adjusted and he could see something in the darkness of the room.

the first mini corridor in which the bathroom door and a closet were located in all the double rooms was completely turned off, later, in the area where the beds were, the ceiling lights were off, the curtains were closed and just a little light, a little reading lamp, lit next to the bed on the left, under that soft lighting a bundle of blankets with gentle movement, a delicate swaying that could have put Mark to sleep.

his nose twitched, in a fashion similar to Jisung's, inhaling a pleasant scent, exhaling curiosity. he felt a cold sweat emanate from the palms of his hands and a burning sensation invade his eyes, as well as a ringing numbing his ears, and, at the same, time he felt the wall under his hands, tears in the corners of his eyes and a melodious voice in his ears.

“ _a_ _h, Chanyeol_ ,” said that voice and Mark could taste honey on the tip of his tongue, smell poison near his nose, hear heaven in that little moan, see an unreal figure between his lashes and could almost swear to feel that soft velvet on his fingertips.

but as soon as he felt intoxicated, he felt the need to cough, get that smoke out of his lungs, get out of there and save himself.

he could not tell anyone what he had seen, he could not say, or even think, about the subtle lines of their feet, nor the interlaced hands that he had been able to distinguish, less could he talk about the naked torsos or the shared kisses. no one could know the imprudence he had committed, to enter the room of two lovers while such a private act was taking place; he couldn't speak to Baekhyun again or deign to look at Chanyeol in the distance, he couldn't even think of EXO, much less approach them.

in less than five seconds, he had already left the room. the room 436's card lying somewhere in the room along with his oxygen.

it took a moment for him to inhale enough air and another moment for the accumulated tears to fall free down his cheeks. _did it hurt?_ did it _really_ hurt? seeing Baekhyun in someone else's arms, acting like it's just the two of them in a world with over a billion people. but, _and maybe it was true,_ maybe for Baekhyun the world was not out there, maybe for him, the world was inside that room, with someone else. it hurt him because he didn't want to belong to that billion people out there, no, he wanted to belong to that unique world, to be who Baekhyun felt _Baekhyun_ with. _or was that it?_ maybe he didn't yearn to be that _someone_ for Baekhyun, maybe he just wanted to be that _someone_ for somebody else.

 _could it be?_ maybe.

_maybe._

_maybe._

and without thinking, his legs took him to the only place he knew how to go blind, he didn't need to be in the familiarity of 127's or Dream's bedrooms, nor did he need to be in the hallways of the agency that he knew so well, he didn't even need to to be in a place he knew and, he was sure, could be thousands of miles away, it did not matter, Mark could find his way, just as he did now.

the tears had already stopped their course, the light air that hit his face as he ran as if it were an emergency had already dried the wet trails. in this way, he was almost composed in front of a new door, except for the alcohol that ran through his system, because that could not evaporate in just seconds, but it was not important.

he raised his hand until it was in his field of vision, letting his wrist joint briefly to bend three times, three taps against the cool wood. he could hear slight noises coming from the various rooms, signaling that all the members were inside them, regardless of whether they were inside his own or someone else's, but those sounds were muffled in the cold solitude of the corridor, which by itself only, infernal silence was heard. the very noise of his breathing making its way through his ear canals and Mark wondered if he had really knocked on the door or if he hadn't done it loud enough, because it seemed like endless nights that it took time for it to open to reveal someone inside.

“Mark?” 

a voice, thin, delicate, harmonious, struck hard. he raised his gaze that he hadn't noticed had dropped at his feet. he didn't say anything, his tongue feeling sleepy in his mouth and his vision blurring, he doubted that due to alcohol at this point, he knew instead it was mental.

his hands flew to the shoulders of the person in front of him, barely placing his phalanges on the fabric, just enough to exert pressure and a little force to push, causing that body to jerk back so Mark could step over the threshold and throw the door behind him with the same force used previously, which, honestly, was not much, just to move, just to feel real, to fulfill its purpose, not a bit aggressive, without a bit of bad intention.

not only had the door lock clicked in what Mark perceived as an infinite silence that had settled in the world a couple of minutes ago, when he heard the voice address him again.

“Mark? _what happened?_ ” 

what was happening? _no idea_. but he was here and while he didn't distinguish at that precise moment between what he really wanted in his life and what he wanted at that moment, it didn't matter, because either way it was something he _wanted_ and you never regret what you wanted at some point of your life, _right?_ however brief it may have been.

and so he justified himself (or did he?), when he threw himself forward collapsing his warm chest against the slightly cooler chest in front of him, when he placed a boiling hand on that barely warm neck, and the other hand on the cold wall. anchoring him to reality, reminding him that it was precisely that: a reality and that maybe he should stop, but that was not what his mind or body wanted, so he thought to continue.

“Mark…” his name was carved into that soft voice for the third time and this time he sounded vulnerable, almost scared, forcing Mark to focus his vision, calling him to the real world, forcing him to leave the limbo in which he felt and then he saw a defined silhouette just an inch smaller than his own; he saw messy ash blonde hair; he saw soft flushed cheeks; big eyes surprised, wandering, scandalised, _and why not?_ even scared; a small nose leading to thick, smooth-looking lips, all skin free of makeup, contrasting beautifully with Mark's pale hand under that jaw, deliciously caramelised, healthy, _perfect_ skin.

“ _Hyuck…_ ” his own voice said. that's it. no answer, no explanation, no thought.

and he leaned forward, helping his hand to angle Donghyuck's face in his direction and thus facilitate the union of their lips. _he sighed_. those lips felt velvety against his, just a little cold, giving off a slight chocolate flavor that Donghyuck had probably been tasting a few moments ago; the light touch of his nose against his cheek made him feel tenderness and the long lashes tickling his skin gave it an effect he didn't know he needed.

Donghyuck didn't respond, at least not immediately. his lips did not part at the touch of Mark's. his eyes did not close in reflective delight. his hands didn't make their way to Mark's body. but Mark didn't take it as an offense, because Donghyuck would, _oh_ , he knew he would.

he pulled back.

“what are you doing?” 

his gaze fixed on the lips of his groupmate and his best friend. _right._

 _what was he doing?_ he had no answer. maybe that wasn't the question. let me stake it out, Mark: _what do you want?_

 _ah_ , now that sounded like something he could, at least, attempt to answer.

 _what did he want?_ he wanted to be _someone._

“Hyuck,” Mark repeated.

“what happened?” Donghyuck asked once again.

Mark breathed.

“do you love me?” and he did not know why that was the question that seemed most appropriate for what he wanted to ask, but then again, his actions had stopped being thought by him, his mind had taken the reins and he supposed that if this is what it was pushing him to do, then this was what deep down he longed for.

“of course i love you, Mark,” the way the words uncoiled on his tongue felt like a million sharp pricks on his skin, the phrase carrying a certain weight and pain that Mark would not have been able to distinguish had he been sober and he wondered if saying so would hurt Donghyuck. but he didn't stop for long to think about it, because what really caught his attention was the fact that it hurt himself, the pain with which they sounded imminent hurt him, it hurt him to imagine that it hurt Donghyuck to hear them, regardless of the reason. he did not want anything to ever hurt Donghyuck and had Donghyuck been able to read his thought, which perhaps he could perceive, he would have thought: _what a hypocrite._

“i love you too, _Donghyuck_ ,” the fact that he said his full name and not just the short version of it, made it sound more serious and _thank goodness_ because he didn't want Donghyuck to ever think he didn't love him.

that wasn't the comment Donghyuck wanted, or at least not the one he expected, but it had sounded so sincere, still drowning in the little alcohol Donghyuck knew Mark had consumed, that if he planned to resist, he knew now he wouldn't be able to.

and it was very simple, _this thing_ that Donghyuck had with Mark, not spoken, not thought enough, just natural. they had fallen into a very beautiful, private friendship, valuable and vulnerable moments shared more than anything when it was just the two of them, jokes fired when they were with others, love-hate relationship, if that's what you want to call it, or for the world, and sometimes a little behind closed doors, after all Mark was quite a congruent person, if in public he said that he was not fond of physical displays of affection, in private he was not fond of them either, sometimes he let himself be involved, some others he distributed affection and most of those times Donghyuck received it, either in the form of a coffee that Mark bought for him without thinking, or letting Donghyuck take as many hoodies as he wanted from his closet, sometimes inviting him food, other times sleeping with him; the other percentage of the time it was Donghyuck going after him, handing out hugs and kisses as Mark brushed him off. Donghyuck didn't think Mark was rude to him, the times he felt displaced, Mark was mature enough to figure it out by seeing his best friend avoiding him at a distance. and as for his friendship, Donghyuck couldn't say that he felt lacking, quite the contrary, he felt quite _complete._

it was when it came to _something else_ that Donghyuck was mentally struck at how oblivious Mark could be. at times he felt (and i can affirm it for both of them) that their shared moments went further, that the occasional hug that was too intimate at night was _more_ , that the attention was more, that the crying was more, than that hand on his thigh when someone who was not Mark bathed Donghyuck in attentions was _much more_ and that that kiss of years ago wrapped in warm bedsheets was simply _too much_.

 _"i love you, Donghyuck_ ,” Mark chanted and this time Donghyuck accepted the contact from him.

he would be lying if he didn't say that he felt slightly drunk, but we had already agreed a moment ago that it was not precisely because of the alcohol, he attributed that feeling to the images of Baekhyun still vivid in his memory and the pressure of Donghyuck's perfect imperfect body against him. 

he hadn't had the opportunity to fantasise about what it would be like to do this with Baekhyun, he supposed now, as much as he could with the minimum three seconds he devoted to these thoughts in his mind, that not this natural, with Donghyuck he could imagine that it was due to the number of years that they had known each other, as friends, to the closeness in age or to something that he could not determine with precision but that _was there,_ persistent. with Baekhyun he could almost taste him _reckless_ if he focused enough, he didn't expect the long white fingers of his sunbaenim to match his, although the sensation of being able to hold them caused an anxious tingle; if he wanted to feel the peculiar shape of his lips close to his own, his smile against his face, his arms, _protective of him?_ around him, his soft stomach under his palms. he definitely wanted to feel it. but none of that was compared to the contrast of his skin against Donghyuck's, with the way in which the younger moved in time with his movements, that if Mark said _jump_ , Donghyuck would jump, if he manhandled him to his liking, Donghyuck would let him; it didn't compare to the meek attitude of his best friend to his overwhelming need, nor to the way he seemed to ask Mark to take care of him. with Baekhyun he could imagine that he would end up being his sunbaenim's puppet somehow, the presence of someone so big manipulating his, small in comparison. with Donghyuck he could allow himself to give, as he loved, to take a perhaps dominant role against the other's subtle aura.

his hand, which had previously been on the wall, had found its way to Donghyuck's side, sliding in agony with just a touch to his waist, feeling the soft flesh covered by cloth, his other hand having traveled a few inches to curl his fingers in something akin to a fist, taking his chin between the tips of his index finger and thumb in a touch so light it seemed unreal. when Donghyuck's hands came to life after a moment of shock, he tangled them around Mark's neck, playing with the hair on the back of his neck that remained soft despite the constant tint, causing Mark, in turn, to deepen the kiss. both hands on his waist, massaging his sides in a relaxing way, their lips dancing, hugging, forcefully without becoming rude, remaining respectful, as if he were worshiping something he felt for the first time, and maybe it was not the first time, but it was definitely the first time he had done it in such a way.

he wedged his teeth into Donghyuck's lower lip, tasting, receiving in response a lilting, delicate, unique moan, so… Donghyuck, _sinful_. His senses flared. _no._ rhey _intensified,_ because there was no way that feeling hadn't been there before, Mark felt it familiar, as he would remember an old childhood friend. they intensified so much that he had to force his teeth apart so as not to bite harder, choking instead in a growl, one that, he could almost swear, had forced Donghyuck to shrink into his arms and to which he had responded with a gasp. taking advantage of the parting of their lips, Mark slid his tongue into the warm interior of his mouth, snaking down his inner cheeks, his palate, entangling disorderly with Donghyuck's and the pleasure he felt just from that contact, from that fight in which Donghyuck willingly offered him victory, _oh_ , it had no comparison.

he anchored his right arm around Donghyuck's waist, possessive, yanking him from its place against the wall, Donghyuck arching his back to conform to Mark's encroaching figure, leaving room for his free hand, his left, to come down playfully, dangerously to perch on his butt, nestle and rest there, at first only as a heat that Donghyuck did not find bothersome, then as a pleasant massage barely present in the curve of his butt, finally as a desperate, hungry squeeze, very hand in hand with the pressure Mark was putting on his crotch and the wet kisses that made their way down his jaw, lobe, and neck.

“ _ah_ ,” a sigh that got Mark wondering if he preferred that simple sound to the beautiful notes let out by his mouth during a song.

“do you know how much i love your voice?” it took him a couple of seconds to realise that the question had been asked by him, had come out of his mouth without permission, but what difference does it make? that was deep down what he longed to say the most, even if he didn't know it.

he didn't expect an answer and that's good, because he didn't get it directly. he got, instead, a series of needy whimpers and honey fingers squeezing his shoulders.

_oh baby. come. i will take care of you._

he paused only to lean his forehead against Donghyuck's, admiring his swollen lips, red from pressure, wet from passion. then he looked at the wide-open eyes of his lover at that moment and without distinguishing fear in them, that fear was drowning in cries of desire, sanity was long gone, Donghyuck was not going to stop him (although that it was the healthiest thing, you and i know it well) and Mark did not intend to stop, but neither did he intend to take advantage of it, he strictly intended to take that incredible being, who for so many years had accompanied him, in his hands and just _give._

so he guided him to one of the double beds in the room, which one? it did not matter. it wasn't like Jungwoo was in the room to claim in case it was his bed they were in. now that he thought about it, fortunately he had found Donghyuck alone, because otherwise he would not have been able to do what he was exactly doing, which was laying Donghyuck carefully on the bed, one hand under his neck taking care of his head like a baby, until he touched the pillow and only then did he climb on top of him, his weight fully on his left arm, his right hand busy cupping his face and his gaze dreamy, as if he couldn't believe the being below him was real.

Mark sighed. he lowered his face very little until the tip of his nose collided with Donghyuck's, then moving his head from side to side in short and soft movements,giving him an eskimo kiss, too innocent for what his body was screaming, but that gesture it made Donghyuck close his eyes and curl the corners of his mouth up, giggles flooding his ears. _happy_. Donghyuck was happy. and Mark would give anything to keep it that way forever.

their smiles met midway, melting once more into a tender kiss. Mark's hands exploring underneath the thin shirt that Donghyuck was wearing, _you should wear something thicker_ , he thought, _you're icy cold,_ but hey, it's not like he's going to need it right now, Mark would take care of that.

 _sensitive_. Donghyuck was sensitive. and, i mean, he knew it in terms of mind and soul, that precious voice would not execute such flawless notes if Donghyuck was not sensitive, his dances would not look so good if he did not put some feeling in the steps, or his being would not be so cheerful and loving if he were not sensitive to love in the world. yes, he knew. but that was not the sensitivity that Mark discovered right now. he was talking about physically. every sound that came out of his being at even the slightest brush on his ribs, which Mark remarked one by one, on his stomach or the beautiful curve of his waist, on his chest or in his arms, was, and Mark said so for sure, paradise on Earth.

a brush here on the line of his abdomen; a thumb on his hip bone; an index finger on his nipple; the tip of his tongue was on his lower lip and Donghyuck was positively squirming, arching his back so that Mark could hook an arm and bring it closer to himself, the friction at their crotch a welcome relief and the wet warmth of Mark's mouth wrapping one of his nipples was a release for Donghyuck and a sight worthy of framing before Mark's eyes.

“ _Mark,_ ” his name sounded rather dragged, drowsy between Donghyuck's groan ringing and that was not the voice he had expected to hear, which he had imagined in recent weeks, that voice was not Baekhyun's, but maybe that was fine, because the voice he heard sounded a thousand times better.

“hmm,” he mused, savoring the moment, but also telling him that he was listening, that whatever Donghyuck wanted to ask, Mark would be happy to provide.

he ripped the cloth from Donghyuck's torso, throwing it anywhere in the room and immediately his hands clasped his whole body, touching here and there, touching too much and too little at the same time. a bite on his neck and a path of hickeys from his ribs to the bone that protruded on his hip, leaving a delightful caramel flavor on his palate very much in line with Donghyuck's skin tone.

the pants found their place next to the shirt somewhere on the floor or on the bed, perhaps on the couch. although Donghyuck was losing his clothes, Mark could feel his temperature rise, no longer worried about how cold he felt at first.

Mark sniffed at the store that was formed in his underwear, his fingers only played with the elastic, but he did not venture to remove it immediately, he raised his eyes better, observing Donghyuck between his lashes, his lips parted breathing heavily, the beautiful blush painting his cheeks, his hair rudely tousled, and his darkened eyes. he bumped his nose against the cloth covered member without taking his gaze from Donghyuck's, as if asking for authorisation.

“may i?” he questioned him, opportunity for Donghyuck to say _no_ if he so desired. the frenzy of his head gave him away before he could voice his affirmation, but still a run-over yes came out on the air. 

in the blink of an eye the last barrier covering his tanned body was gone and Mark leaned in slowly to kiss his insecurities in an attempt to also distract him to slide his fingers down the length of his member when he least expected it, swallowing the moan that echoed in the room. 

“i could listen to you all day without getting tired,” Mark declared, making a loop with his thumb and index finger to wrap around the head of his cock, drawing another sound from his lips. “who needs air when i have you? or food, when you could satisfy every famine.” he ran his thumb across the underside. “or a landscape when i can look at you,” he wrapped his member completely, pulling the skin in a satisfying eagerness, feeling as Donghyuck unconsciously shot his pelvis upward, forcing Mark to put a heavy hand on his hips to keep him from moving. “or a song when i could listen to you.” 

“ah, Mark,” Donghyuck whimpered. “ _please…_ ” 

“what am i for but to please you?” 

and without more he went down his body, stopping at his pelvis, taking a look at his area and then returning to his eyes.

“do i have your permission?” he asked him once more.

“yes…” he murmured lost in his senses. “ _yes!_ ” he exclaimed the second time, convinced. “yes, Mark, by god, always.” 

“aww,” Mark cooed at the impatience. “aren't you a such a pretty boy?” 

and without further ado he ran his fingertips over the head of his member, collecting the abundant natural lubricant, not to use it for a comfortable glide as Donghyuck would have expected, no, but to circle that area between his cheeks a couple of times and press, using a hand to push his thighs open and his mouth to wrap his member. two different sensations invading Donghyuck's seemingly fragile body pulling something resembling a scream from between his lips. Mark pumped his head and finger inside him three times before pulling away.

“is that okay?” he asked.

“ah!” Donghyuck replied still with Mark's digit buried inside him. “too much, yes.” 

it took no further affirmation for Mark to crouch down again and get on with his task. to say that he adored every second of it, from tasting Donghyuck's skin, to feeling his walls almost sucking the three fingers that he managed to insert to keep it inside him, passing through his lost gaze, his breathlessness and the look of him completely destroyed by Mark. at some point he thought he heard knocks on the door drowning in the beautiful sounds that Donghyuck emitted that caused Mark to rub his own pelvis against the padding looking for just a little friction instinctively, not because he was really looking for his own pleasure, nothing could flood his mind more than the thought of making Donghyuck feel good, take care of him, and adore him.

after a while, Donghyuck's breathing began to become irregular, his moans more constant and higher, his knuckles became whiter at the force with which he was tightening the sheets and Mark reached out to take Donghyuck's hand in his, a disgustingly tender gesture that conveyed a greater feeling.

“are you close, baby?” without stopping moving his fingers, nimbly massaging that point inside him to compensate for the lack of his mouth on his member.

“y-yeah,” Donghyuck hissed.

“cum for me,” Mark asked, actually, he begged, as if that act were sacred and required permission, adoration and worship, as if it were only for his eyes to see, but for the world to know.

Donghyuck looked at him, having a hard time keeping his eyes open, Mark could tell, and preparing to tilt his head to the side, an arm over his eyes to cover himself, but Mark wouldn't accept such a thing. with his nose, he gently moved Donghyuck's face back to the starting position, then fixed his gaze on Donghyuck's.

“look at me and cum for me,” and that seemed to be enough to send Donghyuck over the edge, his lips parted, his body twitched and as much as his eyes struggled to close, Donghyuck kept them half open projecting enormous pleasure and the affection he felt for Mark, and Mark remained in awe, as if he had seen the most enigmatic, amazing, important, saving thing in the world.

“ _s_ _o beautiful_.”

you could only hear Donghyuck's heavy breathing and the little kisses that Mark spread across his face, showering him in praise as if to say _you were amazing, you are the best._ and he was so immersed in it that he didn't notice that he couldn't do anything himself. it wasn't like he needed it anyway.

“Mark,” Donghyuck whispered. “what about you?” 

“i did not come here for myself,” he replied. “not because of something physical, at least. i came because i needed you, i needed to see you and feel you and adore you and i already did.”

and Donghyuck cried, he cried when Mark brought a wet towel over to wipe him clean, when he wrapped him up and covered him with the blankets, he cried when Mark lay down next to him and allowed him to use his chest as a pillow. he cried himself to sleep. and to this day Mark does not know if he cried out of sadness or happiness. and to this day Mark wonders if he went there in a reckless attempt to forget what he had seen, or because he had realised that this was what he needed and longed to have for a long time. he does not know it. what he does know is that the next day he got up before Donghyuck could react and left the room, not before ordering the best breakfast available for when Donghyuck woke up.

but Mark might have known if he had stayed. because even if he didn't know what he was doing and feeling, Donghyuck planned to take it all, pain and destruction even if Mark wished it so, he could take his heart and hug him, or throw him and trample him.

_and Donghyuck still wouldn't mind._

_and Mark still wouldn't understand._

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this makes absolutely no sense, i wrote it with the intention of doing a chaptered fic, but i dunno, i might complete it, i might not, i might even delete it later. but for now i hope you enjoy :)  
> i kinda explained the setting over the tags.


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